WARNING!!! If you are a close friend or family member this may make you cry xxx

So here I am, 10:25 Sunday morning and already I'm an emotional wreck.

The prompt for LOAD this morning was a continuation of yesterday, in the way that it completed the other half of the sentence. 

"the more they stay the same"

was todays sentence, accompanied by various options in which you could interpret it.... I went with my initial thought, and scrapped a page of Bamps and Elsie... the picture is from our outing before christmas but the journalling is about something completely different. 

Before I go any further with what I am gonna tell you about the page I should first say this to my Grandad who may very well be reading this:

It was really weird this morning, you called me on FaceTime seconds after I had put my pen down from writing on here, you asked if I was tired and I said no, but really what I think you saw in my face was how i had been crying... I should probably have prepared you for posting this page but I didn't wanna get us all upset over FaceTime. I hope thats ok xxx.

yesterdays page was emotional enough for me but this morning has been a roller coaster.

I really love the page and how it looks, and now that i have finished the journalling I am happy with it, but actually doing the journalling took me forever because I had to keep stopping to see what I was writing where I was crying so much, or my hands were shaking too much to write, or i had to move away from the page because I didn't want my tears to fall on anything.

the journalling says this:

A lot of things have changed since Nan passed away in May. All of our lives have been turned upside down and everyday is a struggle without her. But the one thing that hasn't changed is your love for the children. They need and love you as much as you do them. Forever and always xxx

I was worried and apprehensive about doing this page, and about posting it on here, but as Aunty Chris says, I tend to say the things here that we are all thinking and that we never say in person. It was a hard thing to do but I feel better for doing it. 

Hope I haven't upset anyone too much xxxxx